Complete Cloud of my Tagged Blog

Yesterday the show!!!

This is weird I feel super blessed. Just pulled an all-nighter with my new band. It was our second time practicing. We went to Denny's in the wee hours of the morning. I got a pretty girl's number named Casey and then came back and pretty much got ready for the show. Now I was hoping to get sleep but the bass player doesn't have transportation and all the guys we're doing it so I succumbed to the critical peer pressure in the air. It also sounded fun so sue me. Points is our practice was not all that great but I think we were all excited and confident in each other. We got to the show there was a mix-up somebody got lost we couldn't find any power outlet always stays calm and me eventually gathered and set up. Everything was good to go. 

We played most amazing set the best we could have ever done. 

The bass was that monotonous undertone traveling running moving but repetitive and propitious rhythm Melody combination that blew your socks off and left you craving more to your tingling tactile eardrums. Matt's bass lines were like cuddling up to a warm apple cider that punch you in the face through another galaxy which spoke Klingon and up was down and left was right. But it all blends perfectly. Rick was on point he had driving rhythms Flawless fills and beautiful offbeats and inflection.  he played clean and kept the constant loving rhythm in people's ears. He also had trouble keeping the bass drum at him. DJ Steve did a remarkable job Stand Up Performance as incredible mixer creating dub Vybz echoing throughout the whole material making it more palatable for the youngsters. He embraced the feedback and had incredible skill in determining when to perform. he also really helped out everybody else especially Rick with the percussion technical difficulties. True brother right there. Selfless care by a man I am grateful to call my best friend. Finally I the vocal flautist rocked it. Because I had practice my voice to the point of Rhythm and melodic freedom it was easy for me to navigate the notes I would sing rhythm inflection and the lyrics I would present. I believe I was raspy sweet and then I think of it we never played Angel which is a great tune for the ladies.

People walked in and they didn't say anything I think Matt had the insight to say that they were so pleased by the music that it could be in the background. this is even though the fact that was trying to engage them a lot. more than a dozen people came up to us afterwards and told us how great we were. someone told us we should be on the main stage next year. Another person someone told us we should be on the main stage next year. Another person asked someone told us we should be on the main stage next year. Another couple asked if we were on Spotify

Rick recorded the whole performance And it sounded great. I am so grateful I was able to fulfill this little mini dream of mine. I think the guys are all so excited just as much as me and we look forward to more exciting things. I said that these guys that's not even our target audience you know. That's not even on the market and still we pleased them sufficiently we pleased them really well

Addendum

It has been 10 years since I put forth an effort into my recovery or at least journaling online. I don't believe that I have become a better writer but I feel strangely somewhat similar to every other instance in my life.

The thought I have is one that people say throughout recovery classes like Nami peer-to-peer. "I'm not sure that we do go back and recover ourselves I think we transform a set of experiences that have attacked ourselves and make a new self that is somewhat different than, broader than, change from and still contains the seeds of the original Self." - Kathryn Cohan McNulry, Director Consumer Education Programs. I talked with my mom tonight and she said "You've embraced life. You had a shattered spirit and you pulled that thing back whole."

I was telling her about my evening which was eventful. I went to an amazing recovery meeting called medication assisted recovery anonymous (MARA).  it was so great to catch up with friends and I also wrote some lyrics that the guys approved. One of my friends that is a musician said that there was a drum circle, I asked him if he would be interested in playing congas in my band so I will send him my music but I had the great idea to go to the drum circle.

I got to the drum circle and had a pair of drumsticks, I had been playing in a punk rock band for eight or nine months in South Florida. I walked up to the drum circle and try to play on some guy's two pronged cowbell. he wasn't having it so I stepped out and started playing on the trash He wasn't having it so I stepped out and started playing on the trash cans. one can had a plastic top which I made my bass drum the other can had a metal top which I made my cymbals / high hat  and I used the cement cylindrical base as the , granted the snare was not that loud but if active in playing behind the beat. it brought the DC Go-Go to the scene. I was playing offbeat rhythms as well as hip hop beats to mix it up from the only two Beats at those from his play which are African downbeat afrobeats. Or like a reggaeton that sounds really weird or boring. I stayed back in the cut but I also added solos when need be. I got lots of compliments. When people throw out the trash they would say hello. Also a woman brought a beer bottle and then suggest that I play with it so I was playing the two tone rhythm beat that is heard in Beastie Boys, Run-DMC, and go go When the music died down. So I grab the beer bottle and the metal trash can. I started playing that Rhythm and I got louder music died down. So I grab the beer bottle and the metal trash can. I started playing that Rhythm and I got louder and music died down. So I grab the beer bottle and the metal trash can. I started playing that Rhythm and I got louder and louder because I know I could have started the Rhythm. They held out so long that I eventually broke the beer bottle and had to pick up the pieces I continue to play and do solos and two guys behind me were cheering me on. At times I would get in the pocket and do some really quick solo skills that I have developed as a musician. I turned around I thought these guys were near my age but they were in their 70s easily one guy named Mike and he introduced me to his brother named Ron who was a professor. I turn around and thank them for their Kudos. I said "Professor Ron it's a pleasure to meet you" 

Eventually headed out walk down to the beach trying to find a place to go night swimming. Walked further down and found about three people and their Silhouettes swimming in the water and carrying on. I walk down to the water and then dove head-first in just a few 20 ft from them. one male individual yelled hey Chuck. I said Chuck parroting him. He said you're not Chuck. I said I'm positive Pete and he said I know you from recovery. He said I'm out here with two girls who are skinny dip in earlier. I walked over and the two girls that they knew me. One girl took off her bottoms and threw them to her friend. I joined in the water was cool and the air was brisk as the water was cool and the air was brisk as the water was cool and the air was brisk as well the water was cool and the air was brisk as well because it's getting cooler. The moon was full and it was clear with a few clouds. we laughed and then eventually walked back to the beach. They had curfew they were in halfway houses.

I got back to my car and I put on a reggae rhythm called real Rock Riddim, the instrumental. I started singing in rapping in a term called Singjaying. I got into a Groove and I felt like it was the best vocal performance I had ever done to this point. I use both Melody and rhythm and felt effortlessly able to change and adapt to new rhythms and Melodies with inflections of what I was saying.  I've been working steadily to incorporate singjaying into my music.

In other worlds if you nice things have gratitude are that I found out I got a 106% grade on my  second Psychopathology Masters level Social Work test. I barely studied for the test. I enjoy learning and education but I already know a lot of this symptoms besides. One of the questions on the test was about bipolar one. I might be performing at the 5th annual NAMI Walk with my rock band. I got my second or third scholarship this one for $1,500. I've been helping run a beginner  12 step Recovery meeting called positive recovery. I am sponsoring two individuals. The album that I helped create while playing the drums with the band 1983 is on Spotify and iTunes. I am getting sponsored to go 2 a mental health training in Dublin Ireland in November. I will celebrate 7 years of uninterrupted sobriety and recovery on November 4th.

It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing! My name's Positive Pete. It's nice to finally meet.

Hey everyone, I'm participating in 2014 NAMIWalks Palm Beach County.  Currently I work full time as a Lead Peer Specialist and Assistant Director of a new life skills program called REACH. 

 "I am energetic, poetic, and athletic. An eccentric rock music lover, I am a pure at heart grown up kid embracing optimism one day at a time. This is the story of how I came to be diagnosed with manic depression..." Find my story at http://namiwalks.nami.org/positive

You can help support me by making a secure online donation using your credit card. Click on the link below:

http://namiwalks.nami.org/positive

For more information on how YOU can participate in 2014 NAMIWalks Palm Beach County, please visit namipbc.org (you can check out the banner at the bottom, which I created with an article)

Thanks for your support!

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So I have over 11 months sober

So I have over 11 months sober. Although I still count my sobriety date from my D.O.C.: 3 years and 11 months and 2 days.

I am happy. everything is going great

I am going in thursday to get a tattoo

update feburary

Spoke at a CIT (Crisis Intervention Training) for the Alexandria Police department. it was fun my other presenter was this guy who i hadnt met before but he was really cool had a piece of his poetry at the end. it was really great.

I am planning on moving back to florida to try and get school done and focus on a degree and that suchness.

I am talking to K on eharmony she is a really cute girl who aparently has compatiblity with me

I am trying for unemployment until i get another job

Bob is coming up friday with my mom and andy that should be good

i want to start poetry

" " " go to my therapist

" " " go to an a.a. meeting

" " "  figure stuff out.

I am listening to world bagpipes. its pretty awesome.

thweapist

I was feeling down a couple of nights ago. I shared in an AA meeting i feel like i'm drowning in my friends problems. All i want to do in my life is help others. Now I like to work with people with addiction problems, mental problems, and developmental disabilities because I have the patience god has given me to help them.

I want to get a profession where i can help people this way. Not that I cannot help my own friends, its just when they keep cropping up in my life and they're pain affects me then I feel hopeless because they are not actively seeking recovery or my help. Some say they do but have so many walls and layers that need to be broken through.

This new years was the same as last year. I ran into my best friend playing drums with another band and I wanted to be up there with him. I saw my girlfriend from highschool and we talked too. I said to both of them. "I havent seen you in a year or talked to you in a year, I would like to at least talk bi-annually." They both said yes and re-assured me when I asked "really?" However I dont think they feel the same love mutually. These two people I care about a lot. I have a lot of love for them. When I looked into my Liz's eyes they looked glossy and grey and different.

My friend in the oxford house seems to have a lot of drama with him at all times. He wasnt always this way.
The rest of the house is okay i guess for a sober house. I feel comfortable sometimes until i mess up and forget to do paper work that i am supposed to do

My ex girlfriend wants to be in a relationship again. and i am not ready for that. I like her but I am not ready.

My other ex works at the therapists office I am going to see.

I need to work out a routine get to sleep on time my friends tell me and so does my doctor: Without scheduled 8 hours of sleep my meds dont do a thing.

Whenever I am by myself I get a little sad.

I want another Job I cannot stand the job im working at right now

I am very spiritual, positive, loving, and understanding.

I am sad, lonely, too lazy to be angry. too medicated to be angry

I want to cry sometimes when I think about the fact that I miss my mother dog, and step father.

So far i have a gurl

So far i have a gurl just not a girlfriend. Its okay but kind of killing me. I want to know more about her and spend every breath underneath her warm glow. She is beautiful, fun, outgoing, reserved, nice, intelligent, happy, positive, upbeat, angel, pretty, sweet.

I would like to go on but I think i have other things to touch upon. Pun intended. I just got back from a pre-thanksgiving visit to my mom in florida. So I will have two thanksgivings this year which is awesome. I recently got a year and when I was down there i shared and my friend said I had become much more coherent in my speech, and then he asked me to lead at a meeting he runs. It turns out the meeting was in the same building I went to for bipolar support group (80 and up). haha.

In other news i was going to play a show tonight at the state theater but that fell through, and i found out that my best friend who i recorded with and jammed with is now playing a new years eve show with another band. I guess i am happy for him. But i wanted to be up there playing with him. Oh well this guy matt who i am jamming with now has an amazing voice and good guitar skills and has the same dream as me: to go on tour. So hopefully we can get that done.

I dont want to change one thing about her. They broke the mold when they made her lips. They are so perfect and kissable. Her eyes are that of a doe a deer a female pocket golden sun. She has a sweet soprano voice and is the perfect height, amazing dancer. She lives for it. I want to take her out just me and her and learn more about her before i come to infatuated.

Right now i am creating a radio station called fast dnb because when i try to listen to drum and bass or jungle all i get is these slow ambient build ups. So i am fixing that so its straight fast beats rockin all night long.

so now i am here chilling at home listening to some musicovery

so now i am here chilling at home listening to some musicovery calm positive jazz 1950 duke elington - mood indigo

i am still using my voice to text iphone remote and it's pretty awesome i'm just relaxing chillin back while my monitors sitting there straight delicious. i didn't say i love you but i said love you to a girl that i like on the phone leaving a message i don't know how to respond to it but ill see what happens. i have a not busy but i have a scheduled day tomorrow so i'm going to see how that works out and i'm excited about it too i'm excited about life..

man dial people do with the voice and sing so smooth and softly in ruins i can't do that i don't know i'm trying i just lessons but im not there yet. "i know i must be dreaming because i dont stand a ghost of a chance with you." is nothing much to say i don't know i'm thinking but sometimes i think there's a limit i get off top lock but right now i just feel spiritual.

i have a 1 year anniversery coming up in less than a month. to me and sometimes it is difficult to think about people who go to sobriety in it take years new years and then relapse maybe that's something i don't understand it.