I just found the name of a classical song that I have been searching for 5 years. Bolero. My parents would play this song during Christmas all the time. Its steady drum beat and awesome notes were there best! Ravel's Bolero has been used in countless ad campaigns, by Torvill and Dean for their perfect gold medal performance at the 1984 Winter Olympics Bolero - which Ravel insisted reflected his fascination for the well-oiled pounding of heavy machinery, but in which others have seen a "veritable hymn to desire" and an "exaltation of the erotic" - is, apparently, played somewhere in the world every 15 minutes. It has been one of France's top three musical exports, classical and contemporary combined, for decades.

Ep 5

Around the time I was back from college I started to use drugs Marijuana and Alcohol to self medicate. I spent a lot of time at my friends house the Galloway’s. While there I would have a manic episode along with the killing of many brain cells. Smoking weed until I was a stupor. Getting so high and grandiose that I thought while playing guitar I could play all the “right notes” and soothe everyone around me. I can play by ear and so I would listen to my surroundings and then play along with whatever noises I heard. At one point I was in the basement singing and playing my heart out thinking that I was the only one god consciousness in the world. I felt I was “the one” and all-powerful god. The mania kept me awake for 4 days straight with only a few hours of sleep. I then continued to sit at home in the center of my room and play again to the sounds of the house. At this point I started hearing voices of my sister and mother saying generic things like “Don’t do drugs” and “I love you, don’t forget to brush your teeth.” Then I started hearing bad things like my brother saying, “Fuck you.” Or “go to hell”. I only had one responsibility that summer and it was to go to the DMV and renew my license. On the way there the birds calling me “gay” haunted me. I became hypervigilant. Hearing auditory hallucinations I entered the DMV feeling punitive and delusional. I thought I could hear what was on everyone’s mind at the same time and hear all of them speaking. The room was full and it was not easy to move around. Feeling hypersexuality I thought every woman wanted me. My number was finally called and I walked up to the teller but I felt threatening voices all around me which made me tremble and leave the DMV. The next few days I tried again but went to a different DMV at the mall. The same thing happened to me again. The line was long and I don’t think I succeeded.