I missed my pills and felt some weird things/ saw some crazy visions b4 i went to bed:
I felt unease like some sort of hallucinations would start and I saw I was fighting my mother, stuck on the edge of some shit, and warped images.

I dreamt of this girl I like and me on our knees tellin eachother "i love you" (side note: i once dreamt i was cutting off my dogs toes... i woke up crying in a sweat)

I sometimes feel horrible. Like deep down inside I have some profound hate and angst against the world, myself and life. Last night on the drive home after feeling insecure at dinner, I wanted to end my life. I wished for my life to be over.

Now, when I am clear, I am praying: for my love, health, and people. Talk is cheap. I want to help people in a real way. I remember reading aloud to the 2rd graders in elementary school and I remember my college professor the other day telling me "you have to exercise your mind" after i told him i wanted to learn at my own rate.

I like my life... but sometimes i feel so secluded and I like to journey away, listen to my music and think about how big the universe is. As many galaxies as there are grains of sand on the earth... and still expanding.

Someday you will be loved, Move on, and find your love, then Hold On.

In the future I hope to learn history from my grandfather.



Things to Do:
send valentines
go back to A.A.
do well in classes
sing