I realize that my dreams in high school almost sensed my reality. In my dreams I was being chased around my house by some clown/devil I couldn't escape from and he pushed me out my 2nd floor window, and I would wake up face down on the floor. After countless blackouts, a secret life, and my mom's visits to alanon I had an out-of-body experience in which I saw myself from behind. I noticed after drinking I wanted more and more, though I didn't know why. My friends said they had reached there limit, I ended up hitting myself in the head w/ a guitar causing my eye to bleed. Then coming sober within the next few minutes i realized I had a major problem and knew I had to go to get help as soon as possible. The next day I walked past my roommate w/o akcnolodging him to go to A.A. This meeting happened to be a 40 and up gay mens meeting. just listening to everyone made my eyes ball out because these men had been through so much. a handicap man who had a real trouble speaking was telling me how is father abandon him. I felt I had reached the bottom in my life... The next few days thoughts were colliding in my mind. Too many.
I stayed sober long enough to think and gain spiritual guidance from learning about addicts/people w/ problems. If only everyone listened...
...Nowadays my life is amazing.
I finally made a myspace for my music
Today I saw my friend Hickey of the echo-boomers who I had no clue lived so close.
Tripped up some guy on the sidewalk (chuckles)
Saw this kid walk past the edge of a parking garage and get hit in the head w/ 2 birds. (balls out crying bahahahaahaha)
Then late tonight i get home from the library. My roomates' friend Chris says he's glad ill be living here next year. We had tied in a game of NHL wayne grestky's hockey.(chill)
I learned
You can change even if you dont want to.
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